My throat's been soar for the past week, and today after school it started feeling solid. It hurts to swallow, it hurts to talk, it hurts to breath, and it hurts to move my head. It's just the front of my throat, not the back, and it's inside my throat. I don't know how to explain it, but it's not a pain, it feels like my larynx or whatever that thing is in my throat is hardening. Also, sometimes I hear a popping sound if I poke the front of my throat. And my chest is feeling really tight, causing me to periodically to pause for a moment and wait for it to loosen up so I can breathe again.
I'm pretty sure this is my body's way of saying, "Allison, you are sleep deprived and you need to go to bed and stop eating all the Girl Scout cookies or else you'll have a premature heart attack." Then I say, "Dumb body, I only ate 4 Girl Scout cookies today...plus caramel corn, gummy worms, and a slice of chocolate cake. And I balanced it out with vegetable soup for dinner." Then the little leprechaun with a unicorn horn on his forehead who lives under the computer crawls out and shakes his finger at me and tells me to go to bed or else he'll stop fixing me a sandwich every morning that has magic dust in it to help me grow tall and have strong bones.
So now I must comply and go to bed. Hey, I'm not going to ignore the leprechaun with a unicorn horn. If I die tonight from this throat problem, blame it on the leprechaun. He probably wants to strangle me because Iago manipulated him into thinking I'm having an affair with Cassio. Wait...that's in the play I'm reading for English...nevermind.